If only I knew now … thoughts about first jobs for new grads, and new jobs for the rest of us, by not-so-recent grad, John Reddish
July 3, 2008
On the one hand, if I knew then what I know now, I might not have been so eager to get that first PR writing job when I was fresh out of college. While it was a good start, and I got to write from day one (a rare occurrence in those days), it wasn’t the glamour job I had somehow hoped for. On the other hand, life has been good to me and I have been able to see how my work has helped countless people and businesses during a career that is fast approaching 40+ years.
An article in the New York Times once announced that the average American has about 10 jobs over the course of his/her working years. I’ve only had 7 to date, so there’s still time for me to job hop if I want.
I have been blessed with many opportunities, and I know that had I changed anything, anything at all, my life would be different than it is today. Not better. Not worse. Just different. I have had great successes, significant challenges, I’ve made some colossal mistakes and I’ve had my share of failures. But I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t taken this path. And I like ME.
So, graduate (and post-grad), you may be facing anything from a gravy train opportunity to uncertain prospects to no job at all. No matter. Here are some thoughts from an iconoclast who’s done OK.
First, your life should be about your dreams come true, not someone else’s dream or somebody else’s dream for you. Nothing dries up your creative juices and kills your spirit like work you don’t enjoy, an employer you don’t respect, or work that is not on a clear path to your goals, even if it’s the family business. I am reminded of artists who wait tables, entrepreneurs who perform modest tasks, and eat endless amounts of macaroni and cheese just to pay the bills, while they risk all else for their dreams.
If you must work at something else to support your dreams, for however long, remind yourself daily what your real goals are. It helps you keep both your sanity and perspective.
Feel free to experiment. The stain of “job hopping” is largely a thing of the past. But do try to do something you care about and that you believe in, as you strive for what you really want.
When making career decisions, make them from the head and from the heart/gut. When in doubt, trust your gut. It gets easier over time and there are far fewer regrets. Remember, too, that older people are not as dumb as we look. When we started out, we didn’t trust anyone over 30. We knew better than they. We were going to change the world. And we did. What time has taught us is that we were sometimes right. Today, I can say with that same certainty, “Never trust anyone over 90.”
Power, money and sex can all cloud our vision (so can drugs, booze, gambling and a host of other vices). Have fun but be mindful that you are not alone in this world and you “touch” more people than you think. It helps to remember that life is not about you. Only your life is about you, everything else is negotiable.
Be impatient with tomorrow. Push yourself to savor life to its fullest. Restrain yourself when judging others and the speed at which they progress. Somebody is always faster than you, and somebody’s bound to be slower. Listen (it’s a wonderful skill). Give older folks the benefit of the doubt but don’t let them off the hook for their past actions, and don’t let them dupe you into waiting forever. Negotiate. You are in a better position than you think.
Life can be weary at times, even when it’s the life you choose. Learn to live with the up’s and down’s. There are always times when you should congratulate yourself on who and what you are becoming and what you have accomplished. Don’t forget to do this. There are also times when you doubt yourself and feel out of sorts with your world. If you truly love what you are doing, it will pass. If it doesn’t, move on.
You will almost never get the approval you want from your parents and family. They tend to judge based on their own expectations. Learn early to seek your own approval. After all, yours is the only approval that really counts. There is, however, a secret to finding out just how proud of you your family is. When they are out of earshot, or not around, ask their friends what they have heard about you recently. They will frequently tell you about someone you hardly recognize, someone who has done great things. Yup, it’s you. It’s often hard to get sincere, in the moment, feedback from family sources.
By the way, my mother always wanted me to be a lawyer. I know each and every disappointment I showered her with. But I learned something important early on from one of the men she once dated. He was an Assistant Attorney General for New York State. He was a “success.” When I was 15 and raising funds for a school project, I went to him for a donation. While there, he asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I told him my mother wanted me to be a lawyer. “But what do you want,” he asked. At that time, I wanted to be a career Marine Corps officer. He told me to go for it, to follow my dream.
Then, he told me his story. The men in his family, he told me, were lawyers. Growing up, he had a dream to be an insurance broker. He thought it was a great way to help others. But he bowed to family pressure and went into law. Despite his success, he said there wasn’t a day he didn’t regret his decision. His was a gift to me for which I’ll always be thankful. I never became that Marine officer. I never became a lawyer. I have followed my dreams and I wouldn’t tell you to do anything else.
www.TheReddishReport.com – Business Succession Planning. John Reddish works with entrepreneurs and other leaders who want to master growth, transition and succession to get results faster, less painfully and in ways that work for them. For information and/or additional similar content go to: www(dot) getresults(dot) com, or call 1.800.726.7985.
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